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It was the curse of the comprimario. The ones who had names were the leads, but the only time I sang those was in the deepest boonies where I was the best the cash-strapped folks could afford, and they paid so poorly I was better off financially sticking to Marullos.Actually, in Turandot my role wasn't a character at all, just a plot convenience. He comes out at the beginning of Act I to lay out what film director Alfred Hitchcock used to call the "MacGuffin," the contrivance that underlies the whole opera. In this case it's that Princess Turandot is a man-hater who's said she'll only marry a guy who can solve three riddles she's thought up. The catch is that he has just one try, and they'll chop off his head if he can't get all three. My mandarin explains all this to the chorus, which already knows it of course, but the audience gets to hear, too. Then he explains it again halfway into the second act, just in case some numbnuts in the box seats wasn't paying attention the first time. A glass of iced tea and I was ready. Settling back in my comfortable arm-chair I donned my reading glasses and picked the first folder. I started by the short summary carefully formatted in a way to help me picking the essentials, written by Barbara, my assistant for ever.Case 2005. Scheduled for May 21 at 9:00. Jane Wood, 29, housewife, married to Robert Wood, a doctor. No children. Caught shoplifting in the lingerie department of Monk&Sparrow, a department story in Gallery mall. A note from the manager informed that it was the third time Mrs. Wood was caught doing the same in their department store, but in different malls. The first two times Mr. Wood bought her out, but this time the store decided to press the charges.Why should a wife of a doctor, certainly not pressed for money, steal a hundreds bucks worth of panties and bras?There was a report of twenty or thirty pages from a forensic psychiatrist using big Latin words trying to answer exactly that question. I sighed, sipped.
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